Life Update :)

In a world filled with ChatGPT emails and updates, I wanted to write something real and raw. I’d like to reintroduce myself and update this community on what’s been going on. Sooo… where do we begin?

Well, hello there. I’m Jessica Bell. People often ask me what exactly it is that I do. Well, I’m a clarinetist, woodwind repair technician, woodworker, traveler, and lover of life. I enjoy singing, dancing, cooking, nice restaurants, vacations, learning new languages, chess, among other things. I’m complex. Kind of wild. Extroverted yet very introspective and self-aware. On a more serious, professional note, I currently work at Buffet Crampon USA as the Woodwind Market Specialist & Repair Technician (I just got a promotion yay but we’ll get there later). I have started a few ventures that I’m constantly working on privately but have run into some internal fights that I’m navigating. I still take repairs under Bell’s Musical Services and still sell swabs exclusively in person. I’ve made a few pens and kitchen tools for friends just as gifts. I still record podcast episodes every week…I just struggle with fear of visibility. I will explain later. I’m still playing, though less and less these days. I have a recital coming up that I will share once everything is finalized. It will be a chamber concert featuring myself and friends. I hope you tune in!

Let’s get into the thick of it. As I reflect on my 2025 I have mixed emotions. So much happened. I got a new job (a dream job), a new place, new friends, new routines. While this is all great, the “new” in life can also be overwhelming and isolating. I found myself growing out of old patterns and relationships and that left me feeling like a shell of myself. This year, 2026, I want to slow down and focus on the fun in life. While I have had many fun experiences, I have always been so focused on success and my future in the background. It’s hard for me to relax because I feel like I’m behind in life—like I’m not doing enough. I feel guilty when I have fun because I know what I have to accomplish and I know it will take a great amount of work to get there. My dreams and goals are so big that it scares me to think about the route to them. Which leads me to my next battle I’ve been facing: celebrating. I find it difficult to celebrate my successes for two reasons: 1. I’m so far ahead in my brain that what I accomplish today feels like 5 years ago because that’s when I envisioned it. It’s old news to me. Once I see something I want, it’s mine, so when I accomplish it I’m feeling stress from the next big thing, feeling like a failure working towards something new when I’m living answered prayers. 2. I often am accomplishing things at a high level while only putting in my 30% or 50%, etc. Not that I’m not trying, but I can only imagine what I can do when I delete social media, wake up every day at 4am, eliminate refined sugar, never miss a Bible study, run 4 miles every day, etc. That is not my reality right now so I’m only operating at a fraction of what I’m capable of. While my 30% is someone else’s 100%… it’s just not good enough for me. I want more for myself. I need more to be satisfied. I think these are the things contributing to my dissatisfaction. So, 2026 will be me living in the moment—enjoying the fruits of my labor.

Back to it… It’s my one-year anniversary at Buffet! I got a promotion at just 9 months with the company and it has been a ride! I’m excited for the future and look forward to growing with the company. Also, I am now on the Board of Directors for African Blackwood Conservation Project (ABCP). This is a huge honor for me because this organization truly was the basis of so much of my knowledge on mpingo. If you don’t know, mpingo or African blackwood is the wood most commonly used to make clarinets and other woodwind instruments like oboe and piccolo. This wood quickly became a passion (slight obsession) of mine once I learned about it. It is currently endangered mainly because of its long growth time (70–100 years) and overharvesting. While this is where many people stop on the topic as this directly affects the future of music, there’s so much more. There’s a beautiful deep culture and history behind this tree. A wonderful language (Swahili) and centuries of stories. I first encountered https://www.blackwoodconservation.org/the-project/ sometime in undergrad while researching mpingo. I eventually went down a rabbit hole and found the work of James Harris. I was enamored! Wow, wow, wow! His work was amazing and I knew that I wanted to study with him or at least have a conversation with him. You can always tell how wise someone is from their work. People can say whatever, but look at the fruits they bear and decide if you want to be around that. I ended up emailing him and got a somewhat saddening reply. James had passed a few years prior, but his wife replied. We emailed back and forth over the course of a few years and began to develop a friendship. We finally met up last summer and talked about her husband’s work, her life’s work with the project and woodworking, and of course mpingo. I was honored to have this connection and so was she. She was so happy that someone took such curiosity into James’ work that she gifted me a truck load and a half of his tools and wood. I’m still so grateful and overwhelmed by this gesture. I could go on, but I can’t wait to continue my work with mpingo on a larger scale with an established organization that has already done so much.

So what’s next? As mentioned before, I struggle between wanting to be seen and having an unshakable urge to create a large community and being completely private. I don’t know if a happy medium exists, especially with what I envision for myself. In the next year I will be building a team to help me with this. If you or someone you know are interested and qualified please do reach out. I need a team of people that are strong where I am weak. I need executors and people who don’t mind being on social media/ posting. I think this is the missing piece (though hard because I’m a perfectionist and slight control freak) for me to flourish in my business. My new role at Buffet is Woodwind Market Specialist & Technician. Before it was just Clarinet Market Specialist. So I cover the single reeds and double reeds here and there, market-wise—following trends, encouraging sales, quality control, innovating design, outreach and artist support, etc. I plan to travel a bit this year, read a ton, up my rank in chess, learn French conversationally, and just be happy and as stress-free as possible. I sit here writing this on my couch sore and disoriented from a pretty bad accident I was in just two days ago. I almost forgot about it because again… my brain is always on to the next. “How can I be better?” “Where can I improve?” …setting stones in place for the next five years. But, as I wrap this up I’m reminded of how fast life can change. Focusing on the hustle and bustle can make you feel insignificant, but in a moment where your life is almost ripped from you, you understand how special you are. How needed you are. I’m so thankful to even be able to move my fingers to write this because just two days ago I thought I’d lost my hands. While it’s true I’m without a car and have lingering pains, I am also beyond blessed. Kay… unfortunately I have to wrap this up abruptly. I am feeling the effects from this concussion and I am quite disoriented and I WILL keep this to myself if I overthink for too long, so here’s the update. This is far from a traditional “newsletter or blog post”, but I wanted to break down the barriers we put up. People are so performative… let’s just exist. I hope to hear from some of you soon. Please be on the lookout for my recital date and who knows I may be in a city near you soon!

With love,

Jess <3